8/7/2025
worried i'm not recovering the way that i should / worried i'll have to go back to the doctor i didn't like, the chicken + rice soup that normally doesn't have rice in it actually had rice in it today, deeply frustrated by the growing amount of internet search + VPN options, can't decide if logging every day in these lil journal entries is making time move slower or faster or at the same pace, Dexter Dexter Dexter, impressed that i didn't say anything unfiltered when i was on drugs the other night (i didn't want to have a conversation, i just wanted the answer i wanted and i knew i wouldn't get it) (worth noting i was never able to do that when i was drunk - i would unflinchingly use it as the excuse for why i said whatever i said, or pretend i didn't remember what i said), a demeaning phone call, putting laundry away, on video again, watching wrestling, constant sweating