8/17/2025
first day in a while i woke up feeling mostly not-sick, rewriting my ad copy always makes me feel horrible about getting top surgery, contemplating the irony that post-hysterectomy i will have gotten (most of) "the surgeries" that are milemarkers for trans men even tho i am NOT a trans man (and i have never wanted to be, nor have i tried to be, even tho sometimes i pretend to be, in the same way that sometimes i pretend to be a cis woman), knowing within myself that maybe part of it is going under and being cared for, ruminating on how to make my art website more accessible for screen readers (it's already pretty accessible because it's mostly text based and all my images have alt descriptions), mixing tea bags (again), stale bagels, realizing that maybe the way to stop doing drugs and alcohol is to find things that i like doing more than that, bought obligatory expensive clothing (when i was already probably paying rent late this month), more dishes, caught up on Dexter, at the end of it all my throat still hurts